The Bass Bunch
by SimplyShelbySJL
Summary: "Princeton, Fallon, Rider, Demi, and Portia," Blair listed. "Wow, all five are Bass children?" Hazel asked, astonished. "We like to keep ourselves busy," Chuck smirked. "Clearly." He put his hand on Blair's stomach. "And I'm campaigning for another."


**The Bass Bunch**

By: Shelby

"Demi, I'm going to put grapes in your lunch! Is that okay?" Blair shouted from downstairs in the kitchen. She stood by the counter, grapes in one hand and her daughter's lunch bag in the other.

There was some stomping around upstairs.

"No mom, I want watermelon! I don't eat grapes! Fallon does!" Demi shouted back. She was being a drama queen, like usual. But it was typical thirteen-year-old girl behavior and everyone in the house was used to it.

Blair rolled her eyes and sighed, "Of course. How could I have forgotten?" She put down the grapes and went to the fridge, bending down to get the watermelon. She grunted as she lifted it and brought it back over to the counter.

"Mommy!" Portia shouted as she wobbled into the room. She came towards Blair's leg and grabbed onto it. "Hold you!" she commanded.

"Mommy can't really hold you right now, Portia," Blair replied. She waited a few moments and then sighed. She looked back down at her youngest daughter. "Fine, up you go," she told her. She hoisted Portia on her hip.

"Sit," Portia ordered, banging her hand on the counter.

"Fine, but don't try and jump off again. You almost gave me a heart attack last time," Blair responded, giving the two year old a very stern look.

Portia only stared back at her with raised eyebrows.

Blair set her down onto the counter and turned momentarily to find a knife to cut the half of watermelon into pieces. She searched and searched the drawers for it, but it was nowhere to be found. She was beginning to get frustrated.

"Yum," Portia commented.

"What do you mean yum?" Blair frowned. She turned around and shook her head. "Oh my God, Portia. Watermelon juice all over your new white dress? Grandma Eleanor is going to kill us."

Portia sat there, next to the watermelon that now had a hole in it to fit the size of her tiny hand. In her lap a few pieces had fallen from her handful she still held. Some of it fell from her mouth, down onto the front of her shirt. She only smiled and giggled though revealing her almost set of full teeth.

"Well it looks like someone is having a messy morning."

Blair turned and saw her oldest son Princeton. He was always the first downstairs and ready to go. Really, people couldn't believe her when she said he was seventeen. He acted like an adult, dressed like one too.

"Princeton, I know you need to go, but can you please help me at least until Fallon comes downstairs?" Blair asked, sounding hopeful.

"Sure, mom. Where's dad though?" Princeton asked as he came fully into the kitchen. He took one of Portia's wet wipes and began to dab at her mouth.

"No," Portia refused. She pulled away from him, frowning, and shaking her head.

"Your father had to take Rider into school early this morning. He got into trouble with some other boys during lunch yesterday," Blair explained.

She sighed, "Honestly, it's his first year of high school and he's already had more detentions than you and Fallon combined."

"Well its Rider, mom. He's the most unruly fifteen year old I've seen," Princeton laughed. He finished cleaning up his sister's face and hands. Then he pushed his glasses back into place and leaned against the counter.

"No, it's because no one likes him. He's a mean person," Demi stated with a roll of her eyes as she entered the room. She went to get her lunch, but pulled back.

"Ewe mom, why did you let Portia put her grubby hands in the watermelon?" she complained.

"Your sister does not have grubby hands," Blair retorted. She gave her middle daughter a scolding look.

"Yeah," Portia added in a know it all tone she had seen that vey sister, Demi, use quite often. The little girl didn't know what was going on, but only the attitude of the situation.

"Whatever. Princeton, I need you to give me and London a ride to school," Demi told her brother, though it sounded like a demand.

"London lives the opposite way and we go to different schools. Why can't you guys just walk? It's like a block away," Princeton replied.

"Walk? You want us to walk?" Demi scoffed, starting to get very worked up.

"Well look whose already throwing a fit this morning," Fallon commented as she came into the room. Fallon was sixteen and gorgeous. She was basically her mother made over, but with long, straight, and almost black hair. She kissed her mother on the cheek.

"Morning mom, older brother, baby sister, and—" She looked to Demi with pursed lips. "Brat of a sister who borrowed my clothes again and didn't return them."

"Fallon, don't call your sister a brat. And Demi, I will drive you to school, but we won't be able to pick up London. As for Princeton, well you're my angel child as usual," Blair said, throwing a soft smile his way.

"More like your nerd child," Demi muttered under her breath.

"Demi, stop it. Also go upstairs and change out of that skirt. It isn't appropriate for school," Blair ordered, a stern look upon her face.

"But mom!" Demi whined, stomping her foot.

"Listen to her. You look like a common concubine," Princeton stepped in. He was tired of his younger sister trying to dress like she was a nineteen-year-old go-go dancer.

"God! Why can't you just say slut like everyone else? You're such a freak!" Demi shouted and stomped up the staircase.

"Well at least she knows how she looks," Fallon commented with a smirk.

"Fallon," Blair warned again. She was getting tired of getting on both her and Demi. They were always attacking each other. Where as her boys were very different, but mainly just kept their distance instead of fighting.

"Sorry," Fallon returned. She then picked up her lunch bag and looked to her older brother. "Are you ready to go? I'm meeting with Caine in the library," she informed him.

Princeton frowned, "Why are you meeting with Caine Baizen?"

Fallon shrugged, "My Social Sciences teacher asked me to tutor him. Plus it's brownie points to put on my college application. Come on, you don't think I actually want to hang out with someone like him, do you?"

"I hope not considering he shoved your older brother into his locker and gave him a black eye," Blair cut in.

"Mom…" Princeton looked to her, pleading that she dropped it.

Fallon wanted to say that Caine wasn't the only one who had made fun of Princeton, but kept her mouth shut for her older brother's sake. She shook her head. "Of course not. Now let's go," she said.

"Alright. Bye mom. Bye Portia," Princeton told them, kissing each on the cheek.

"Bye—bye," Portia returned. She stuck out her arm, opening and closing her hands to show that she was waving. She even continued a little while after when they were out the door.

Blair smiled at Portia. "Mommy, will be right back," she told her. She walked into the living room and stood at the bottom of the stairs.

"Demi, it's time to go! You're going to be late! I mean it!" Blair called up.

"Gosh mom, I'm coming. Chill," Demi retorted as she came down the stairs. She rolled her eyes and finished fastening her new, longer skirt.

"It took you that long to find another skirt? You're cleaning out your closet this weekend. No one can even step into it," Blair told her.

"Whatever," Demi muttered, walking into the kitchen.

"Okay Portia, we are going to go run some errands—" Blair started to say, but stopped when she came into the kitchen.

Portia was still sitting on the counter, but there was another fistful of watermelon missing. Her daughter giggled, more juice all down the front of her, and watermelon pieces everywhere.

"I'll be in the limo," Demi remarked. She then walked away before her mother could ask her to help.

Blair sighed, "Portia…Portia…Portia…"

"Mommy…mommy…mommy…" Portia returned in a fit of giggles.

**XOXOXOXOXO**

After Blair dropped Demi off at school her and Portia went back home. When they came inside though Blair was surprised to see her youngest son, Rider, sitting on the couch. She frowned in confusion.

Rider was fifteen years old. He looked older in the face, but wasn't very tall. Really, he was an exact replica of Chuck. People seldom saw an ounce of his mother in him.

"What's going on? Why are you not at school?" Blair asked her son. She set Portia down gently and put her hands on her hips.

"Ride—grrr!" Portia shouted cheerfully. She ran over to him and pounced forward, hitting her hands on his lap.

Rider didn't really acknowledge her, but instead looked up at his mother. He wore a rather sullen expression on his countenance.

"Rider, why are you hesitating? I would think you'd be proud to tell everyone that you got suspended from school," Chuck announced in an unhappy fashion as he came into the living room.

"Suspended?" Blair asked, looking devastated.

"It's only for a couple of weeks, mom," Rider replied, his eyes falling from hers. He sunk down some in his seat and decided to focus on Portia instead.

"Well let's just hope you don't fail your first semester of high school. What an honor that would be for the Bass family," Chuck retorted, shaking his head.

"Daddy mad?" Portia asked. She looked between both of her parents with raised eyebrows and also held up her little hands.

Chuck looked to her and sighed, "Yes Portia, daddy is very mad. However, daddy is not mad with you though so you have nothing to worry about."

Portia smiled and clapped her hands.

"Rider, watch your sister. I'll talk with your father in the other room. If you're hungry there's leftover breakfast in the kitchen," Blair told him. She was upset, but still sympathetic.

"Oh great, treat him like he's a guest at a hotel," Chuck said in a low voice.

"Chuck, stop it," Blair warned. She grabbed onto his arm and pulled him into the other room. The moment the door was closed, she hit her hand to his chest.

"Why are you being so hard on him?" she demanded.

"Because he got suspended from school, Blair," Chuck retorted. He looked to her as if she were crazy.

Blair scoffed and rolled her eyes. "Really? Cause with your record I thought you'd be proud. Honestly, you can be upset with him, but don't mock him."

"I wasn't trying to mock him—"

"And I quote: _Rider, why are you hesitating? I would think you'd be proud to tell everyone that you got suspended from school._ Or how about this? _Well let's just hope you don't fail your first semester of high school. What an honor that would be for the Bass family_…you know who that sounds like, Chuck? That sounds like your father," Blair informed him.

"Don't you dare compare me to him," Chuck snapped. He held up his finger and pointed it at her.

She smacked it down though. "And don't you dare point your finger at me or tell me what to do," Blair refuted.

"Oh so you can smack me in the chest all you want, but I can't point my finger at you? Wow, that's _so logical_, Blair," Chuck went on and the argument furthered.

**XOXOXOXOXO**

Rider lied on his back and stared at the ceiling of the living room. He knew his father was upset with him, but it didn't bother him too much. He was glad to be out of school for a while. He wasn't exactly enjoying his first year of high school, to say in the least.

"Ride—grr!" Portia called out and patted him on the face.

He turned and looked to his little sister. A small smirk came to his lips. He couldn't help it. Portia was such an adorable mess. She had a head full of curls that could never be controlled and always something on her shirt that wasn't supposed to be there.

Portia grinned at being acknowledged and then struggled to hold up the large book. She pushed it onto the couch and released an exasperated sounding breath. "Read," she commanded.

Rider lifted the book and examined the cover. He turned back to his little sister. "Portia, this is a baby names book. I don't think you'll find it all that interesting," he informed her.

"No!" Portia shouted back, using her favorite word.

He sighed, "Fine." He opened up the book and scanned through the pages. "Let's see… How about we look up the meanings of the names in our Bass Bunch?" Rider suggested with an amused smirk.

Portia clapped her hands in return.

"We'll start with oldest to youngest. No offense. In fact, let's call it saving the best for last. Alright Munchkin?" Rider laughed. He put his hand on her head and messed up her curls.

"Ride—grr!" Portia complained, stomping her little foot as she pulled away.

"I found Princeton. His name means: _principal one, first_," Rider read aloud. He shrugged, "Makes sense. He always is." He began to scan the pages again.

"Fallon: _descended from a ruler_." He looked to Portia and kinked his eyebrows. "Well, don't our parents think highly of themselves," Rider mused.

"High," Portia repeated and pointed to the ceiling.

Rider merely smiled, shook his head, and turned back to the book. "My name is next. It probably means trouble maker or—" He paused and frowned as he read. "_Knight_?" he breathed.

"Story book," Portia connected, pointing back to the lower area of the bookshelf where all her things were.

Rider looked at her. "Apparently you're right. It seems like mother and father thought I would be the knight in shining armor of the family. Personally, I like to take my name in a literal sense," he explained, lowering his voice.

Portia's eyebrows rose.

He chuckled, "As for what I'm riding though…well let's just say some of Fallon's friends are in the running."

"Read," Portia commanded, getting irritated. She smacked her brother harshly on the arm.

"Little One, calm down. Next up is Demi's name anyways and you can't be too excited about that," Rider returned, rubbing his arm.

His youngest sister only glared at him in response.

He sighed, "Demi_: mythological Goddess_." Rider set down the book, looked to his sister, and rolled his eyes. "Seriously? Don't ever mention this again. If she finds out her name, she'll never shut up. It would have been enough if her name meant Queen or something, but Goddess? What the hell is wrong with our parents?"

Portia immediately smacked her hand over his mouth. "Bad word," she scolded.

He held up his hands in playful defense. "Sorry, but guess what. Your name is the only one left," Rider smiled.

"Porrrshuh!" She threw her hands in the air and began to jump up and down.

Rider chuckled and lifted her to his lap. He opened the book to her page in front of them and saw it was circled. Their parents must have had that particular baby book around when they were finding his little sister's name.

"Well they don't have a direct meaning, but what does this say?" Rider squinted his eyes and read the small paragraph that explained her name.

"_Portia was used by Shakespeare as the name of a clever, determined young heroine in_ "_The Merchant of Venice" who disguises herself as a lawyer to save her husband's life."_

Rider looked to her and smiled. "Well, what a noble name you have, Munchkin," he complimented with a slight chuckle.

"Me the best!" Portia sang as she slapped her hands against her chest.

"I guess I'll give that to you," Rider replied. He then gave her a hug and kissed her on the head. "Plus, we'll be spending a lot of time together for the next two weeks," he added.

"Two," Portia returned. She proudly showed him that she knew the number by holding up two fingers. She had learned to do it that year when she turned two.

"Ahem."

Both Rider and Portia looked up to see their parents in the doorway. Their father appeared guilty looking and their mother smiled with the smallest sign of tears forming in her eyes.

"Rider, I'd like to speak with you out on the balcony. I promise not to yell," Chuck swore, looking from both his son and his wife.

Rider was hesitant, but nodded. "Sure dad," he replied. He got up and carried Portia to his mother. Then he followed his father out onto the terrace.

"I gave your father a serious talking to, Portia. We have to keep our men in line," Blair told her daughter as she stroked back some of her crazy curls.

Portia smiled and nuzzled her cheek in the crook of her mother's neck.

"I think it's about time someone be put down for a nap," Blair whispered. She turned to go up the stairs, but stopped to look through the glass doors, out onto the veranda.

Chuck was now hugging Rider, but then pulled back and still appeared stern. And he had the right to be after all, their son was suspended for two weeks.

Blair nodded, pleased with the improvement, and carried Portia upstairs to her nursery.

**XOXOXOXOXO**

"Blair, are you going to get your cute little ass in this shower or will I have to drag you?" Chuck called, sticking his head out. He smirked at her now nude form.

Blair turned back to look at him with a playful glare. "Don't threaten me, Bass. And besides, I told you we don't have much time for fun tonight. It's important that we aren't late to the gala," she reminded him.

He rolled his eyes and sighed. "Honestly, why do we even have to go? I'll just send a damn check in the mail," Chuck complained.

"No, you won't. It's important that we keep up appearances, even if only for our children's sake," Blair returned with a definite nod. She then climbed into the shower and moved completely under the water. Of course though she still felt his hands immediately go around her waist.

"Fine. If you think it matters that everyone know I'm a rich, successful, asshole then alright," Chuck teased with a smirk.

She rubbed shampoo in her hair and turned to do his as well, not forgetting his chest hair either. She smiled, "I heard there will be people from high school we haven't seen in ages. And you know what that means…"

He grinned, "That we get to explain all the beautiful Bass babies we've made over the years. And let us not forget the one we're working on now." His eyebrows kinked and he rubbed her flat stomach.

"I told you that I haven't decided anything. I'm still on the pill. It will stay that way too until I am completely certain," Blair returned. She washed the shampoo out of her hair and began on conditioning it next.

Chuck shrugged, "That's what you said about Demi and Portia, but I always get what I want, baby. And at the present moment, that happens to be another baby." He chuckled and pecked her on the lips.

She put her hands on his chest and looked up at him seriously. "Tell me the truth, Chuck. Why do you want another one?" she asked.

He put his hands on her bare bottom and brought her closer, resting his chin in the crook of her neck. "Because I'm Chuck Bass and I love you," he whispered.

Blair pulled back and gave him _the look_. "Well, while that answer has improved some, it's still not a real reason," she sighed.

"I don't care. I want another one," Chuck refused. He was acting like Portia when she didn't get her way. Well, at least they knew where she had inherited her stubborn temperament.

"I'll think about it," Blair said simply. She then finished washing and got out of the shower. She put on her robe and slippers.

"Finish your shower. I'm going to make sure the kids will be fine tonight when we go," she told him.

"Will do," Chuck returned.

**XOXOXOXOXO**

"Blair, we're going to be late! So don't blame me when we are!" Chuck called up the stairs. He shook his head and came into the living room to see all his children, except Portia who was upstairs with her mother.

Princeton was reading a book, like usual. Fallon walked back and forth, a little ways away from the group, as she talked on the phone to someone. Rider was watching a program he probably shouldn't have been on the television. And Demi—well, she was glaring at him.

"What's with the sour face, Queenie?" Chuck asked with an amused grin. He loved when he could call her that. It was his way of teasing her about being such a drama queen.

"Don't you Queenie me. How could you take Portia, a two year old, to an amazing event and leave me here with bookworm, big sister bitch, and juvenile delinquent?" Demi demanded, crossing her arms.

"Those aren't very nice names to call your siblings, Demi," Chuck told her with a sigh.

"That doesn't answer my question, father," Demi retorted.

"Demi, stop fussing. We're taking Portia because she woke up and I don't want to leave you four with a crying two year old all night," Blair answered as she walked into the room. She then pointed at her daughter. "And apologize to everyone now."

"Sorry everyone," Demi said, but in the fakest of ways.

Princeton and Fallon didn't seem to hear her or pay attention, as usual.

Rider simply shrugged, "Whatever."

Demi turned back to her parents and stood. "Can I please, please go with you?" she pleaded. She pouted her lips and turned on the puppy dog eyes.

"We would take you if we could, but you have school tomorrow," Blair answered before Chuck backed down. She kissed her daughter on the head. "Now be good."

"Yeah whatever," Demi griped and sat back down on the couch.

"Okay, we're going now. Princeton and Fallon, you're in charge," Blair told them, looking up to make eye contact with each of her children.

"Sure thing, mom," Princeton and Fallon answered in union.

"Later," Rider followed.

"Have fun without me," Demi finished.

"Go, go, go!" Portia shouted with excitement. She didn't know where exactly, but only that her mommy had put her in a very pretty dress. She also had a headband on her mountain of curls.

"That's right. Now let's go. After you, Ladies," Chuck told them as he held open the door. He put his hand on Blair's back as she exited.

"Why thank you, Bass," Blair smirked.

"No problem, Bass," Chuck returned.

**XOXOXOXOXO**

Chuck shook a few more hands at the event and looked across the room to see Blair. It was only halfway through and Portia was already asleep. His wife was holding their daughter against her chest, sitting at their table. He smiled softly at the sight and made his way over.

"Is she sleeping already?" Chuck asked. He put his hand on Blair's shoulders as he sat down beside her.

Blair turned to look at him and nodded. "Yes. She didn't even make it through Mr. Harrington's speech," she reported, rubbing Portia's back.

He chuckled, "Well I can't blame her. I almost fell asleep myself. That man would go on and on if they didn't cut off his microphone."

"Shhh… Chuck, he'll hear you," Blair scolded.

"And what? They'll give back my enormous donation? Face it, Blair. We basically own these people, which means we can also leave early if we need to," Chuck hinted, nodding to Portia.

"Well I would like to get her home, in her bed," Blair agreed. Finally she gave in and sighed. "Fine, we'll go, but let's try to be discreet about it."

Chuck smirked, thrilled that he was getting his way. He pulled out her chair and watched as she stood. Then he put his hand on her back so that they could walk together as they took their exit. And they almost made it out the door too, but then they were stopped.

"Oh my God. Chuck and Blair? I can't believe it. I haven't seen you two in forever! And you're still married with a baby! Penelope will never believe this!" Hazel exclaimed loudly as she appeared in front of them.

She was so loud that she woke up Portia. Their daughter turned to look at Hazel and glared. "Owe," Portia complained.

Chuck and Blair both felt their daughter's annoyance. Not only was Hazel loud, but also she interrupted their escape plan. She even openly insulted them with the "_you're still married"_ comment.

"Hazel, how nice to see you again," Blair lied with a fake smile.

"It's a pleasure," Chuck added. He didn't even try to sound nice though.

Hazel simply ignored him. "So who is this little cutie? She is Chuck's right?" she inquired, running her mouth about a mile a minute.

Blair opened her mouth to reply, but didn't get the chance.

"Of course she's mine, you twit. We've been married for eighteen years. Whose else would she be?" Chuck snapped, glaring at her. He was very protective when it came to his wife and children.

Hazel's expression faltered for a moment, but she covered it with a laugh. "Relax Chuck, I was just teasing. Eighteen years is quite an accomplishment, but don't you have a son that old?" She frowned as if really confused.

"Princeton is seventeen actually and top of his class I might also mention," Blair spoke up this time. She flashed a bitchy, but proud smirk.

"Any other children?" Hazel immediately changed the subject from her son's accomplishments.

"Princeton, Fallon, Rider, Demi, and Portia," Blair listened. She kissed her daughter on the head. "This of course is Portia, she's our baby."

"Wow, all five are Bass children?" Hazel asked, astonished. She was still being phony, but she had in no way expected to hear they had five children.

"We like to keep ourselves busy," Chuck smirked. He winked at her and moved his hand from his wife's back to her bottom.

Blair blushed and hoped no one noticed, but of course they did. It was what Chuck had wanted after all.

"Clearly," Hazel returned. She sounded as if it were a negative fact. That was a mistake. It only added fuel to Chuck's fire.

He put his hand on Blair's stomach and kissed his wife on the cheek before he turned back to Hazel. "And I'm campaigning for another," Chuck furthered.

Hazel laughed, "Well I guess you don't mind since Blair clearly has the best plastic surgeon in the business. Please tell me who worked such magic after birthing five children."

"She hasn't had any work done. I won't allow it," Chuck retorted. His eyes narrowed and as if it were an instinct he stepped some in front of her.

"Well Chuck, you have really changed since high school. No one would have ever thought you'd be married and dare I say faithful with five children," Hazel insulted. She crossed her arms and giggled.

"That's funny, Hazel. I was going to tell Blair when we walked away from you that you've turned up exactly how I expected. You're still the same petty, little bitch you were in high school," Chuck laughed with a shrug.

Hazel's mouth fell open and her eyes widened.

"Well it was nice seeing you again," Blair intervened. She flashed a bitchy smirk at Hazel and then looked to Chuck. "Come on Chuck, let's go home."

"It would be my pleasure, Love," Chuck concluded. He then led Blair and Portia away from Hazel.

"You still got it, Bass," Blair told him as they waited for the limo.

He smirked and kissed her on the lips. When they broke apart, Chuck said, "As do you, Bass. Now, let's go home and spend time with our five children."

"Soon to be six," Blair said quietly.

Chuck stopped dead in his tracks. Slowly he turned back to her. "Excuse me? I don't think I heard you correctly. What did you say?" he asked.

Blair smiled, "Well, I might have told a little white lie tonight when I said I was still on the pill. Perhaps I had another slip up, one that will lead to another Bass Baby in nine months."

Chuck took her face in his hands and kissed her strongly on the lips. "You have no idea how much I love you, Mrs. Bass," he breathed.

"As long as people don't start calling us the Brady Bunch, I'll say the same, Mr. Bass," Blair giggled.

"No, not the Brady Bunch. The Bass Bunch," Chuck concluded proudly.

**XOXOXOXOXO**

Author's Note: So how was it? BTW: more information on the children below to clear things up such as age.

Princeton - 17

Fallon - 16

Rider - 15

Demi – 13

Portia – 2


End file.
